This post is the first in a six-part series exploring the invisible barriers that keep people from seeking coaching. From cultural resistance and self-doubt to confusion and cost, we’ll explore what stops people from getting support and how that can shift.

Coaching, at its heart, is often about helping someone spot what they can't yet see whether it’s a blind spot, a self-imposed obstacle, or a decision they’ve been avoiding. Sometimes it’s about gently holding up a mirror; other times, it’s about challenging their beliefs so they can see things from a new angle.

But after years in the field, I have to confess, I live in a bit of a coaching bubble. I coach, I read coaching and psychology literature, and I debate theories with other coaches. In my world, coaching is just a given. Of course it’s valuable. Of course it works. Of course it helps. But I was recently reminded how, outside of that bubble, coaching is still a complete unknown to many.

I was catching up with some friends I hadn't seen in years. These were ex-colleagues from a different lifetime back when I worked in IT service management. The conversation eventually turned to what I do these days.

"I spent the last few years retraining as a coach, and these days I work as a change and transition coach, supporting professionals navigating career shifts and helping them gain clarity and confidence in their choices."

If a human face could ever embody awkward silence amid the clatter of a busy café, I was staring right at it; all three of them. I spent the next few minutes explaining what a coach is. "No, I'm not a sports coach." "No, I'm not a counsellor, therapist, or psychologist." As much as that took effort, I wasn't prepared for the follow-up question once I’d explained what a coach is.

"So, why would people pay money to talk to you? If they're facing challenges at work, don't they just do what we used to do? Talk it out at the pub over drinks?

Sure, there's value in offloading over a drink. But coaching isn’t just about talking, it’s about thinking. Noticing what hasn’t been thought about. Filling in the blanks between where you are and where you want to be and then setting actions and plans in place to move forward with clarity and purpose.

That question lingered. Not just why people pay for coaching but more revealingly, why so many never even consider it. What if the real barrier is that people don’t know what they don’t know?

We’ve all heard stories about someone ordinary walking past unnoticed only for others to realise later they were someone important. Am I saying a coach is always someone significant? Maybe. Maybe not. My point is this: we often miss the value of something simply because we don’t recognise it.

Coaching is still commonly associated with sports. Think Ted Lasso (if you’re into pop culture—if not, insert the coach of your favourite team here 😊). What does Ted do? He helps the team win, yes but more importantly, he brings out the best in each player. He blends strategy with mindset, skill with confidence.

In many ways, that’s not far from what I do. I work with clients to optimise their professional performance and wellbeing not because something is broken, but because they want to perform at their peak. Coaching, like sports psychology, focuses on clarity under pressure, mindset flexibility, and sustained motivation. It’s a different kind of game, but the principles are the same: focus, clarity, resilience, and growth. Yet most people don’t even realise this game is being played let alone that coaching can directly support better decision-making, reduced burnout, clearer goal-setting, and measurable professional progress.

Seeing is believing but most people have never seen a professional coach in action, let alone worked with one or even know someone who has. The closest reference point tends to be our 'professional cousins', psychologists who are more familiar in mainstream conversations about support and personal development.  What sets a coach apart from a psychologist?

Both professions draw from overlapping psychological theories and frameworks, but differ in how that knowledge is applied. It’s worth noting, too, that some psychologists also practise as coaches particularly those working in leadership development, organisational psychology, or wellbeing spaces. But generally speaking, psychologists often work with individuals experiencing diagnosable mental health conditions, while coaches focus on helping functioning individuals move forward whether in careers, relationships, or personal growth, but differ in how that knowledge is applied. Psychologists often work with individuals experiencing diagnosable mental health conditions, while coaches focus on helping functioning individuals move forward whether in careers, relationships, or personal growth.

While psychologists often work to bring someone back to baseline functioning, coaches typically meet clients who are already functioning and aim to optimise, accelerate, or clarify their direction. It’s not about treatment; it's about positive development and growth. A psychologist may explore childhood trauma or diagnose a condition; a coach will ask what you want next, what’s in the way, and how you might move toward it.

That said, coaches must be clear about the ethical boundaries that separate coaching from clinical care. While some client challenges may initially appear straightforward, it’s essential to recognise when a deeper, therapeutic approach is required and to refer appropriately. Many people don’t realise coaching is rooted in evidence-based frameworks drawn from adult development theory, motivational interviewing, cognitive-behavioural principles, and even elements of positive psychology. These tools are adapted not for diagnosis or treatment, but for growth, goal-setting, and change. The difference isn’t about one being “deeper” than the other it’s about purpose, process, and positioning. Both therapy and coaching can support growth but from different starting points. Therapy may help someone resolve emotional pain or process past trauma, while coaching focuses on what’s possible in the future. One helps you heal, the other helps you build.

And part of that growth? It comes from learning to think clearly. Coaching isn’t about giving advice—it’s about slowing things down, focusing your attention, and helping you fill in the blanks between where you are and where you want to be.

There’s a saying in Chinese: 不見棺材不流淚  (no tears until the coffin is seen). Dramatic, yes but it speaks to something true. People often avoid hard thinking until the consequences become inevitable, coaching serves to shortcut that or rather surface it before they arrive at crisis point.

As I wrap up this admittedly self-serving post, I’ll leave you with a gentle question: If you’ve never spoken to a coach what do you imagine we actually do?